Headstones

When I die I want a beautiful headstone.
I don't care if you wrap me in duct tape and throw me in the hole upside down just give me a beautiful headstone.
I want it to have that old world gothic factor. Skulls or skeletons should be present. Reaper figures a plus. I don't want a cross. But a cross on the stone is ok I guess as long as it is integral to the art. Though I don't know how that will fly with my current "I'll believe in god when it tells me to." attitude.
I don't want a flat stone. Those ridiculous new little stepping stones that they force people to accept so the keepers of the boneyard can save on upkeep and grooming. No way. When I die I want a proper upright standing stone. No size or height restrictions. Though I'd never want anything too large. That would beas bad as a flat stone. After my name and the pertinent dates I'd like it to say something witty or wise. Perhaps done in the style of the rhymes found on old English headstones.

Death is a debt
by nature due
I've paid my shot
and so must you.
--Surrey, New Hampshire, 1800

Stranger, stop and cast an eye,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you will be,
Prepare for death and follow me.
--Unknown

I'd like the artwork to hide some secret. A message within the message. A hidden meaning. An inside joke perhaps. A thing that might be noticed but not always seen for what it really is.
Finally I'd like to be buried in a verdant grove with trees and green vines and history. A park like setting of natural beauty. Nothing so far away that it's forgotten. Nothing so close that it has the potential to be rezoned as a golf course in the near future. Not a precision manicured lawn with little metal vases stamped to each stone to allow for a flower or two and no more to be placed there. Not a wide lawn where the only green nearby is in the grass. Why is it the cemeteries with names like "Forest Grove" have no trees? Cemetery 'rules' be damned I'll not allow my final repose to be predicted by the convenience of others. I'll find my place. I'll have my stone. And perhaps in death I'll have my peace.