4 posts tagged “death”

And nothing much has changed.
Or everything has.  Depends on how you look at it.

We're down to one chinchilla, one cat and one guinea pig and the guinea pig isn't feeling well.  After Bandit we lost Skeeter and Gizmo.  A mated pair of chins.  The female passed after some illness and her little mate simply could not live without her.  He died a week later.  Very sad indeed.

The war in the middle east is ongoing.  The US military is all but spent and so is the treasury but that's ok with the reslug dictatorship that runs the place like their daddy's business.  I wouldn't care so much but they're like a neighboring willow that has it's tentacle roots wrapped around our own, strangling us slowly.  It's very much a "If we go down we're taking you with us" kind of relationship now.
It's been more than obvious that our government was bought and paid for by 'merkan reslugs ages ago.  Piglet harper and his porcine posse have yet to force Canada into a major commitment in the middle east but they are still playing the public with that bullshit about how our soldiers are "Peace Keepers".  Yeah.  Show me how you keep peace in the middle of a war zone? 
We get it.  It's the best lie you could bother to come up with.
Fuck you too.

We've been to the states twice to visit.  It's usually a major health crisis that sends us flying down there.  This time was no different.  DH's mom gave us her old car.  That was nice of her.  She can't drive any more so she thought we could use it.  It made it all the way back here and then promptly died.  We scraped the money together to get it going again only to have it fall to pieces two weeks later.
I'm glad it's getting warmer now.  At least it won't be freezing cold while we're walking.  For a while.

Gas is hovering at $1.30/L. depending on where you buy it and the warm weather is only just upon us.  I can imagine it will go a lot higher once the summer travel season is upon us.  The result of that being no travel for most.  We'll be lucky if they continue to truck to retail outlets if it gets much worse.  There are already problems with the supply line due to the fuel crisis.  Then there's Monsanto and it's seed empire and the fact that some idiots want to replace all our food crops with corn for totally inviable biodiesel.
You'll forgive me if I lack optimism.
But I do not welcome neofeudalism.  Where we're all just serfs to the global megamarkets and their owners.

In a previous post I remarked that I was going to ignore the rest of the world and focus on my own reality.  Not an easy task I will tell you.  In fact it's pretty much impossible.  But I suspect I could do without most of the propaganda spew that is blasted at me daily via TV.  So I have stopped watching it almost altogether.

My husband and I do have some shows we enjoy but we both find the commercials and constant interruptions so offensive that we simply can't bear to watch any more.  So we download all our viewing material and avoid the rest.  No news, no commercials and other than the questionable viewing we choose, no crap.
I have to say it has helped.
I recommend it to everyone.  I'm not missing a thing.  Anything I'm that desperate to see I can find on Youtube any way.

I have no idea if I'll maintain this blog any better than I ever have. So I might be back tomorrow and I might be back sometime next year.
Either way I've got to go now.  I've got to try and find the cash to get the POS car towed to a junk heap.  It really is painful losing your only means of transportation but I'll be glad to be rid of the bloody miserable thing.

That's what I've decided.
It's my reality and I don't have to acknowledge anything else if I don't want to.
Why not?
I mean that's what the neocon thugs who run the dictatorship in the states do.  Don't try to tell me otherwise.

"Friends of his from Texas were shocked recently to find him nearly wild-eyed, thumping himself on the chest three times while he repeated “I am the president!” He also made it clear he was setting Iraq up so his successor could not get out of “our country’s destiny.”

If that isn't absolute proof that the draft dodging, coke snorting, alcoholic, misogynist, racist, xenophobic chimp they elevated to dictator has lost what tiny little piece of brain it had left I don't know what is. 

The point is that no matter how horrible things get, no matter how many people suffer and die, none of these eliteist thugs seem to notice.  It does not register in their reality.  The displacement of 2 million people isn't even a blip on the radar and the death of thousands of american troops is more a cause for annoyance than concern.  Mostly because they don't like having to deal with grieving families.  It slows down the pillage and looting of the foreign country they are occupying.

My problem is this: I happen to be one of those strange people who actually gives a damn.  It matters to me that Iraqi people are being murdered.  It matters to me that service people are dying for no reason.  It matters to me that the slave owners in charge enjoy all the benefits and none of the costs of war.  It matters to me that they seem to want to pretend that none of it is even going on and worse, that it's none or our business and we should just leave them alone to do whatever they like.

Well after years of fighting against it I am taking the recommendation seriously.  I'm done.  I'm conducting my own withdrawal.  I am retreating into my own reality.  If shrub can do it why can't I?  The major difference being that in my reality it's not cool or funny when people die.

I'm lucky in a lot of ways.  I'm married to a guy who really cares about me.  We are kindred spirits.  We have pets we love and we have a warm, cozy, wonderful place to live in a small, quiet little town located just slightly east of the middle of nowhere.  In the winter there's skiing and in the summer there's a beach.  We are extremely limited in our means which is a polite way of saying we are dirt poor but we always have enough to eat and the ten year old car is still on the road. 
It's really a pretty nice little reality and I feel fortunate to be part of it.  I'm glad I will be living here full time from now on.

Goodbye to war.  Goodbye to propaganda crap that passes for news.  Goodbye to world, politics, country, war, genocide, pandemics and global warming.  In my reality, none of these things exist.
What is the point in living in a reality where I can effect no change and no one gives a damn what I do or say when I can live in a reality where it actually makes a difference when I volunteer and help out?  Think small is my new motto.

I will do the very best I can to make my little slice of reality the best it can be.  Everything within the sphere of my existence will be important.  Anything outside of it will be discarded.
And I feel better already.

It's been a few days since the last entry to my continuing dialogue on the local weather. It's not that it's been calm and warm, because it hasn't, but as often happens in life more important things have taken precedent.

Yesterday evening one of our beloved chinchillas, Bandit [aka: the Frito Bandito] passed away. We noticed last week that he had slowed down and wasn't really eating. We did everything we could to try and nurse him back to health but it was no use. He was shivering on the bottom of his pen yesterday so we snuggled him up in soft warm cloth and held him. We called around to what vets are available on a Sunday night here in the middle of nowhere land and were told that the best they could do for us was to agree to examine him but from the symptoms we described it was unlikely he wouldlast much longer. They were right.

We held him to provide warmth and comfort. He seemed to appreciate the warmth because he had been shivering in his little hutch. Usually not one for snuggling Bandit took full advantage of the warm dark bower we had created for him. He lay in our arms for several hours until he had what I can only describe as a seizure. After that he was still but for his breathing and we realized that Bandit had had a stroke, a not uncommon result when chinchillas have an illness, and he would not be coming back. He lay for a while laboring to breathe. That bothered me the most. All but gone, his body hung on as long as it could. I cannot stand the thought that he suffered at all. Thankfully he did not continue long after that. His breathing slowly subsided, he gave a shudder and finally was still.

We sat with him for a long time after that. Just patting him and talking to him and telling him how much we would miss him and how sorry we both were that his life had been so short. He was only four. Just an adolescent in the chinchilla world where they can live as long as 25 years and the average life span is over 10yrs. Bandit had black fur rather than the common gray. I can only imagine his breeding had contributed to his small size. He as only half as large as our other chins. But he made up for it with spunk. Chinchillas are quick, active and spry little animals. They're known jumpers and climbers and when they take off you'd better have your running shoes on. Bandit could run with the best of 'em. He was the quickest of all the chins and the most acrobatic. He also had a habit of forcing himself into tight spaces and falling asleep. Much to our surprise. Once we found him pressed between the pen and the wall asleep. From then on his nick name was "Pelt, the wonder chin". Our little contortionist.

Bandit was a sweet little guy. He came to live with us in the fall of '02 when he was only about 9months old.  He was friendly and personable but not fond of being held. Although he had no problem having a seat on your lap or next to you on the arm of a chair. He just didn't want anything to slow him down I guess. It is unfortunate that he was a bit of an outcast. Our other chins get along but none of them were particularly fond of Bandit. They would chase him and later bark at him when he got out to play alone. I never understood why he irritated them so much. But he made friends with our guinea pig and even had a thing going with the cat where they would play 'catch the tail'. She would sit on top of his pen and he would try to crab her tail through the mesh. She would curl and uncurl her tail and he would try to sneak up on her and catch it while she wasn't looking. I know you may be thinking .oO(they weren't playing) but I promise you, they were.

It's hard to accept that we will never see Bandit again. I loved him more than I can adequately express. The loss is deeply felt.
Unfortunately since Bandit was a pet I can expect no understanding or sympathy from anyone. I'm sure people will tell me they are sorry, those that don't laugh or make stupid ignorant comments about replacing him. It's times like these when I am reminded that the current convention in human society is not to acknowledge the sentience or value of any life other than human. Even those strange few who wrongly assume a pet is some kind of child substitute are devaluing the importance and individuality of the animal. They are not replacements for anything. They are important and loved and valued as they are. Besides, who in their right mind would want a kid?

Rest In Peace Bandit. I know you crossed the rainbow bridge to discover joy and friends and peace, but we who are left behind will always miss you.

When I die I want a beautiful headstone.
I don't care if you wrap me in duct tape and throw me in the hole upside down just give me a beautiful headstone.
I want it to have that old world gothic factor. Skulls or skeletons should be present. Reaper figures a plus. I don't want a cross. But a cross on the stone is ok I guess as long as it is integral to the art. Though I don't know how that will fly with my current "I'll believe in god when it tells me to." attitude.
I don't want a flat stone. Those ridiculous new little stepping stones that they force people to accept so the keepers of the boneyard can save on upkeep and grooming. No way. When I die I want a proper upright standing stone. No size or height restrictions. Though I'd never want anything too large. That would beas bad as a flat stone. After my name and the pertinent dates I'd like it to say something witty or wise. Perhaps done in the style of the rhymes found on old English headstones.

Death is a debt
by nature due
I've paid my shot
and so must you.
--Surrey, New Hampshire, 1800

Stranger, stop and cast an eye,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you will be,
Prepare for death and follow me.
--Unknown

I'd like the artwork to hide some secret. A message within the message. A hidden meaning. An inside joke perhaps. A thing that might be noticed but not always seen for what it really is.
Finally I'd like to be buried in a verdant grove with trees and green vines and history. A park like setting of natural beauty. Nothing so far away that it's forgotten. Nothing so close that it has the potential to be rezoned as a golf course in the near future. Not a precision manicured lawn with little metal vases stamped to each stone to allow for a flower or two and no more to be placed there. Not a wide lawn where the only green nearby is in the grass. Why is it the cemeteries with names like "Forest Grove" have no trees? Cemetery 'rules' be damned I'll not allow my final repose to be predicted by the convenience of others. I'll find my place. I'll have my stone. And perhaps in death I'll have my peace.